Sanity Bakery

She’s not at all okay. I have no idea how to give her space while letting her know she’s loved. And I’m frustrated at my helplessness.

Well. I saw that coming.

I hate it.

I’m fine. Life is fine. Not great. I found out what’s going on, and it’s not terrible. It’s just that several times today I’ve had this feeling, because someone starts a story about something that’s happening. I can deal with this stuff. It’s hard, but not deadly. It’s just in the few seconds before I find out how bad things are that it feels like I’m going to lose my breath.

Yes, you. The one who gave twice. The ones who donated to someone you’d never met, never heard of––who took it on good faith that this family, the Goldflies, were worth giving to. The ones who convinced your parents to give some, too. The one who gave a speech explaining that you couldn’t keep your large donation, because you have everything you need and to not give would be stealing. The one who donated instantly, with a few kind words and no hesitation whatsoever. Yeah, you. You amaze me. I want to know you for the rest of our lives. I want to watch you grow up, grow old. I’m proud to know you. When I’m upset, when I’m unconfident, you prove me wrong. So we don’t have all $1850 just yet. We do have about $736, which is pretty damned amazing. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday: $736. Wow.

The Epistle reading of the day is from St. Paul’s Second Letter to the Corinthians 9:6-11. It seemed fitting.

“BRETHREN, he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows
bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must do as he has made up
his mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a
cheerful giver. And God is able to provide you with every blessing in
abundance, so that you may always have enough of everything and may provide
in abundance for every good work. As it is written, “He scatters
abroad, he gives to the poor; his righteousness endures for ever.” He who
supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply
your resources and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You
will be enriched in every way for great generosity, which through us
will produce thanksgiving to God.”

Thanks for keeping my spirits up.

I’m worried. I’m scared, in a way.

The Save Hexxus fund has about $400 so far, a little over I think. That…that’s wonderful. It’s kind of stunning. It’s been four days since the news went out, and we’ve raised 400 bucks! But. It’s not enough. We need to raise another $1450. 

What more can I do? Shit, I know the answer to that. There’s so much more. I could have called every news station in the Chicagoland area. I could have posted on Craigslist. I could have contacted my church, the nearest churches, their church. I could have gone door-to-door, that would have brought in a little bit. I could have hounded every person at Shimer. I could have asked everyone I know to tell all their friends. I could have sent an email to every blog I read asking them to link to us. I could have done so much more. If it was for medical treatment, maybe I would have. If I was procrastinating on a paper, I probably would have. If, if, if! Why am I so damnably lazy? Why do I insist on sticking my nose in other people’s business only to muck things up or do a half-assed job?

I continually interfere, but I’m not particularly good at it. Maybe it’s time for me to retire.

So my roommate’s family is about to lose their house. Her mom’s a single mother, trying to support five kids and two cats. One of the cats is named Hexxus, and he is old and very fat. Hexxus is 20, way too old to enjoy spending the winter outside. You know how sucky the economy is right now. They need some help. They need to come up with $1850 in rent money by WEDNESDAY.

We’re looking for 100 people to give $20 each, and then Hexxus can keep his house. Go to WeLoveTheGoldflies.wordpress.com for more information.

Donate $20 or tell 20 people by Wednesday. Please.

Sloane, my roommate

On page 73, Britney and Jamie Lynn’s mother said, “And believe it or not, I was never paid a penny for exclusive interview deals with magazines or anything like that––ever.” Considering she’s writing a book about being a celebrity’s mom, I have yet to decide whether or not I find her credible. But I’ve snagged a reviewer’s copy of Lynne Spears’ Through the Storm and will let you know what I think as soon as I’ve finished.

In the mean time, judge for yourself. See Chapter Thirteen here: http://www.thomasnelson.com/consumer/custom/widgets/spears.html