I’m odd and typically cheerful, with a sweet streak at times but a bit of a prickly exterior. The way that pineapples don’t really belong in Iowa, I’ve traveled so much I can’t really say where I’m from. Some days I feel as if I should dye my hair neon blue. I’d probably wear it the same way I do now, in unintentionally-messy French braids and half-ponytails and high buns my hair’s too short for, but it’d be a good warning to others: Attention shoppers, this girl is strange.
Pineapples are bizarre. They have a poky green shell with a tall spike of tulip leaves on top. The inside is soft, juicy, vibrant yellow. There’s a hard core that’s not so pleasant to eat, and the fibers originate at the center and fan out like sunrays. It’s tart, overly sweet, and sticky. It hurts to hold the uncut fruit and rankles to hold the drippy carved version. They’re overpriced and underappreciated, and they do not belong in heavy syrup.
I’m generally an odd combination. I have ADD, so I’m random and distractible, and when I want something I go beyond focused or persistent to unstoppable. My honorary little sister called me a juggernaut one day, a force of nature. I can be, some days, and other days I’m too tired to fight. I value honesty, and some days I wonder if I’m acting because I can’t tell. I love people easily, would do anything I could to help someone I’d never met before, and I could never work in a public service position (doctor, lawyer, counselor) because I can’t stand people. I’m a naïve cynic, a jaded optimist. The glass is overflowing, just in a way that means I can’t spill it as easily. I can’t stand summer’s heat and despise brown February slush. I complain about and love the cold weather, walking, and my incorrigible dog. Especially in fall, I walk out of my way to kick rocks and step on crunchy leaves, and literally pause to smell flowers. My adrenals are overloaded, so caffeine makes me jittery but not particularly alert; my favorite snack is chocolate and Bigelow’s Earl Grey tea, both of which are caffeinated. I love the way coffee smells, and I refuse to drink it because it’s bitter. I’m learning to appreciate non-sweet foods like beer, and yet my sugar-loving tastebuds have decided to despise soda. I love cheesy romance novels, but I can’t abide stories that have a perfect, typical, or unrealistic ending. I love to write, play music, read, play with languages, learn unexpected trivia, copyedit things that shouldn’t matter, cook, ride my horse, exercise, draw and paint, watch movies, strive for anything, play with children, tackle projects, be an entrepreneur, and act; but I often don’t. I love Avalon Organics Wild Yam deodorant and Mary Kay Tribute perfume; they make me dizzy and joyful, and I feel drawn in by the scent. The perfume I wear most often is called Happiness. I’m slightly too odd to be considered human.
I’m a pineapple.
